Monday, 26 June 2017

Have You Ever felt like killing Your Parents?

By Israel Usulor
Sometime in April this year, I was given the rare opportunity to teach and interact with a congregation of parents who were far older than I am. The topic centered on why parents must plan for the future of their children. My major assignment was to let the parents understand the fact that the future of their children lies in their hands. I told the parents that though children are a gift from God, the gift comes with a huge responsibility. I also told them that failing to plan for a child is not only a sin, but also morally wrong.
During the interactive session after the teaching, a prominent business man among the congregation stood up and threw a question I considered rather interesting: “My parents failed to send me to school neither did they give me the capital to start a trade. All I have today is as result of my own personal struggle. Will it be right if I hate my parents?”
Have there been moments in your life when you feel your parent hasn’t done enough for you? When you feel the very act of bring you into the world was a crime in itself? When you feel your present challenges emanates from your parent’s inability to train you? And lastly, have you ever looked at your parents and felt like “Maybe I should just hack these two good-for-nothing fellows to death?”
If your answer to the above questions is ‘yes’, then I must say you are not alone-many people feel the same way.  Many of us feel there is no reason to be grateful to our parents. But are we right to feel this way? I took some time out to ponder on the question above and here are my conclusions.
Some things are natural: the truth about life is that some things are inexplicably natural. There have always been parents who are not able to cater for their children. In other words, there have always been poor parents. Not every parent is rich. It is the sad truth. Learning to accept and also deal with this helps you understand why your parents were not able to give you the life you wanted.
You didn’t choose your parents: was it your fault that you were born into a poor home? The answer is “NO”. None of us chose our parents. If it were possible, I bet you would have told God to send you into the womb of Melinda Gate or that of Melania Trump. But that’s not possible. So never blame yourself.
Your parents didn’t choose you either: no parent chooses their children. Your parents only chose to give birth but never knew the child would be you.
Both you and your parents are a gift to each other: Bishop Desmond Tutu once said that “you don’t choose your family; they are God’s gift to you as you are to them”. I agree with him completely. Our parents are God’s greatest gift to us. Irrespective of how you look at it, your parents gave you life and nurtured you to some extent. Some of us are still being nurtured. Have you heard the saying that “mum’s prayer keeps me going”?
You can break the cycle of poverty: the beautiful truth about life is that we cannot choose our parents, but we can choose to be better than them. We can choose to do the things they failed to do, to give our own children the life we never had, to break the cycle of family poverty and set wonderful precedents for our offspring to follow. Maybe the reason your parents didn’t send you to school was because their own parents didn’t send either. You can break the cycle! Train your children the best way you can. Make it a duty to succeed so you can send your children to the best schools. When they grow up, they too would see it as a duty to train their own children.

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